Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project--an action docudrama about
famous composers starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven
Segal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present. Spielberg
strongly desired the box office 'oomph' of these superstars, so he was
prepared to allow them to select whatever composers they would portray, as
long as they were very famous.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to
play him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people
saw me playing the piano." said Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segal. "I'd
like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then,
looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?" So
Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."